time in a bottle

all summer that i've been in cookeville, i've found myself driving through campus, downtown and other destinations that i have occupied through the past three years. i try to form all of the memories i have of these places in a nice, neat little package all together, but it's impossible. there are simply too many memories that rush back to me. i have learned some hard lessons, i have grown into someone more independent, yet i'm still growing. i believe that never has to end, the learning part at least. i have gone from being somewhat of a loner to meeting some of my best friends. i love them all to pieces. i have laughed, cried, been afraid and been deliriously happy. 

it's been one of the best experiences of my life so far, if not the best.

buenos noches!! :)

i hate math

i was reading about the Most Lucrative Degrees online today, and nowhere in that article does English come up.  it's all about math. i hate math. i have never been good at it. and then on the other hand, i start to hope that maybe one day i will write a bestselling novel and then i won't have to worry about having a lucrative job, but what if that never happens? maybe i should start designing a nice cardboard box and finding an okay place to put it. i'll have my books and pen and paper with me, so why not? my mind just doesn't work very well mathematically...

"side by side"

a very very short story I wrote inspired by the song "Never say Never" by the Fray 

hope you enjoy :)

"Side by Side"

I always thought I was like a bland character in your favorite novel, but on that winter day, I remember I used my polaroid.  I only used my polaroid on rare occasions, and you, my dear, were a rare occasion.  Somehow, I believed I opened a door to your heart on that day.  I stepped in, you saw me, and I became the main character in your life.  I had that photo of you and me framed where I could see it when I opened my eyes in the morning and closed them at night.  In the past we would go without talking for months at a time, but things always remained as they were when we picked up where we left off.  We held that smile when things were crumbling around us, and I begged you to just talk to me.  You were always there, holding tightly to the bond we shared through the years.  You couldn't ever say never, even though maybe at times we should have.  

Years later, in our separate lives, I think of you and wonder who you are now.  I always knew you'd be there in those times.  I imagine you in your new life, and I hope you're happy.  The photo in the frame is tucked away in a drawer, and on occasion, I'll slip it out when no one is looking and smile at who we were back then.  Just two beings, in the present, never thinking about the future; refusing to.  Being side by side, all we wanted was right beside us in that moment. 

lion's mane

Iron and Wine "Lion's Mane"

this song is great. my 2 favorite lines in it are:

"the earth is warmer when you laugh"

and

"love is the best sensation waiting in the lion's mane."

but all of it is superb so you should

listen and enjoy :)

buenos noches

p.s. i really miss my family...i love you all so much

a select few

here are a select few poems i've written over the past few years. some of the feelings i had in the poems have completely changed, some are exactly the same.

enjoy :)

7-26-06

You fade in and out when you reach for

air. Fingers tremble at an

unfamiliar pace where I cannot

remember. Discarding days like a fool, what

pray tell will we do? A heart's 

remembrance may not be enough, but it's all

I can recall. A new tide has

turned, memories are my ever present stain.

It's blasphemy to say I will

forget.

1/14/06

Frozen in time

Now melting and stepping forward

Thoughts dance in my head

I tell them to stop, as melodies spring forth and

carry me away.

11/22/05

There's no shame in curiosity, and 

no end to destinations. So how

must I settle in this place? There are

precautions to take, but

unthinkable choices at the last moment. Escaping

this massacre is laughable when there's

no where to hide.

Constant question marks are left upon 

my face. I will not know the answer until the

morrow, but I pray 'tis alright.

hold your head up high

just a song by oasis and poem i wrote.  hope everyone is having a good weekend.

Hold up

Hold on

Don't be scared,

You'll never change what's been and gone

May your smile, (may your smile)

Shine on, (shine on)

Don't be scared, (don't be scared)

Your destiny may keep you warm,

'Cause all of the stars,

Have faded away

Just try not to worry,

You'll see them someday,

Take what you need, 

And be on your way and 

Stop crying your heart out

Get up, (get up)

Come on, (come on)

Why you scared? (I'm not scared)

You'll never change what's been and gone

'Cause all of the stars,

Have faded away

Just try not to worry,

You'll see them some day,

Take what you need, 

And be on your way and 

Stop crying your heart out

'Cause all of the stars,

Have faded away 

Just try not to worry,

You'll see them someday.

Just take what you need,

And be on your way and

Stop crying your heart out

We're all of the stars,

We're fading away.

Just try not to worry,

You'll see us someday.

Just take what you need, 

And be on your way and 

Stop crying your heart out...

-Oasis "stop crying your heart out"

and

Revolving Circles

What a revolving circle

as you sit and stare

while others go by.

Grasping onto the past and

what could've been, yet

cemented into reality as it is now.

I stand and ponder on 

the thoughts that go on

in your mind, and

I weep inside for you.

If only you could see

what to me you mean.

I close my eyes and beg God 

to show you.

another late night ranting

i've mentioned my addiction to diet coke, but i don't believe i've explained it fully.

i know it's silly, it's just a drink i like, but honestly, if i go a day without it, i'm crazy.  i crave it, and yes, you can say i'm an addict for diet coke :) 

case in point: i haven't had a diet coke in about a day.  it's 2 a.m. i should've gone to bed awhile ago, but being me, i tend to sneak in a few more minutes (or hours) more than i should with my nose in a book. and all the sudden, i start thinking about the cold silver can waiting for me downstairs in the fridge. i've patiently waited for the right opportunity to open it since it's my last can, and today didn't seem like the right time. but for some reason at 2 a.m. i find myself getting up from bed to be downstairs sipping on my diet coke.

this is bad.

i put it back, i'll save it for tomorrow.

unfortunately, at this very moment, i'm having to beg myself not to just give in and go downstairs to claim all of it.

i'll look forward to the morning when i can finally take the sweet sips i'm wishing i could take now. :)

hehe

goodnight :)

p.s. here's a song and band that i've recently begun listening to. i really like them, this song is good and the lead singer/guitarist isn't too sore on the eyes either ;)

Great Lake Swimmers- "Your Rocky Spine"

i'm a time traveler

inspired by the book The Time Traveler

often i feel i'm a time traveler.

i disappear into one world and grow into another.

i'm like two bodies submerged into one.

i have one name with opposite meanings depending on the day.

on occasion, i believe i've found someone to travel with,

and then i'll turn my head and they'll be replaced. 

as i climb up the mountains, i set my feet on the ground;

as i venture onto the plateau, i set my mind to a different tune

and begin to fly.

these roads can lead to unexpected turns, 

i may be frozen but still marching forward to 

unexpected lands, and

when i see you, my lips 

sting with the words that have been traveling with 

me through all time.

possession

"What is it?  My dear?"

"Ah, how can we bear it?"

"Bear what?"

"This.  For so short a time.  How can we sleep this time away?"

"We can be quiet together, and pretend-since it is only the beginning-that we have all the time in the world."

"And every day we shall have less. And then none."

"Would you rather, therefore, have had nothing at all?"

"No. This is where I've always been coming to. Since my time began. And when I go away from here, this will be the mid-point, to which everything ran, before, and from which everything will run. But now, my love, we are here, we are now, and those other times are running elsewhere."

-A.S. Byatt, Possession

i love these lines. they say so much without having to say much at all.

happy 4th of july

lost

this song has been on repeat in my car pretty much this whole week.

Lost! by Coldplay

my favorite lyric is 

"You might be a big fish In a little pond Doesn't mean you've won 'Cause a long may come A bigger one"

i have run into people like this a lot lately, and i'm not trying to be mean, but i wish i could point this line out to some of them.

after i got off work yesterday, i met my good friend rachel at Thomas Andrew's for dinner, i hadn't seen her since may when school got out so it was so good to see her.  we then preceded to meet abby and other friends rachel and erica to see My Sister's Keeper.  it was good, bring some tissues if you go see it though.  we ended up at my apartment at the end of the night before she had to leave.  here are some moments we captured on camera. :)