I <3 music

i love this song

Css-Music is my Boyfriend

ask me questions, i don't want pity.

i was hesitant to share this for all the world to see simply because i don't want pity. i'm me, ivy, and that's all i've ever been and all i'll ever be. but there is an element to me that is different from others that i've lived with since october 3, 1995. on that day, my father was taking me to school, third grade to be exact, and on the way there, we were involved in a horrible car accident.

my father died.

i was left, barely alive, with my right side paralyzed.

flash forward to now:

i can talk, i can eat, i can walk, i go to school, i drive, i have my own apartment 2 and a half hours from my family, etc. i've found ways to work through my disability. i refuse to let anything stand in my way. i can walk, but i have a slight limp and my right arm is completely paralyzed. through all that though, i firmly believe that i was left here for a purpose, and i'm so glad i was. every day i wake up and have to go through the day as i am, but i'm so glad i was given another opportunity at life. 

i have come along way. i had to learn to do everything over again, but i was determined. i'm kinda stubborn, for example, i hate when people tell me i can't do something. i will find a way to do it. 

when most people meet me, they don't even notice anything is wrong with me. i've lived this way for so long that i mostly don't notice it anymore. hardly do i ever feel sorry for myself. i have been blessed with family and friends to support me and pray for me, and i'm doing just fine. i've come along way, and i try and look for the good that has come from all this. i miss my father terribly and think of him every day, but i'm so happy for the time we had together. i have so many memories of just the little time i had with him on earth, and i know i will be with him again one day in heaven with our Heavenly Father.

you can ask me questions, but i don't want pity. this road i've traveled has been long and treacherous and it always will be, but i believe i have more to be thankful for than i do to be sorry about.

Philippians 4:11-13 "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

true love lives

since my last post, i've looked at craigslist for jobs in my area and called several places that looked appealing. i'm gonna go back to cookeville this weekend and hopefully can work one of these out. keep your fingers crossed! :)

in the meantime, i've enjoyed relaxing and taking a break from the busy busy busy routine that my life was not so long ago. i took a walk with my youngest sister yesterday and enjoyed the fresh air, sat on my back porch for the majority of the day trying to take in all the beauty that is East Tennessee :)

my best friend abby and i went to work out last night, and we worked out...but we talked a lot more.  much to catch up on! i think we might go again tonight.

i worked out with my mom a tiny bit this morning. i got on the elliptical and ohmygoodness 

i couldn't do anything else after that.

i went to the social security office to appeal something i got denied...i really hope they accept it this time around. i think it's time to share about that. will do that in my next posting.

on my way home, i was taking back roads (love doing that) and listening to this cd i made compiled of different love songs. i always forget i included this song on it that is probably one of my favorite songs. i'd like to share it with you.

"True Love Waits" by Radiohead

to look at the lyrics go here: 

http://www.greenplastic.com/lyrics/truelovewaits.php

what a joke

i went to my job interview yesterday.

i had a nice summery shirt on with a lightweight short sleeve sweater over it and i wore khakis, and let me just tell you, i NEVER wear khakis unless i have to. i have nothing against khakis, they're cute on other people, i just don't like them on me. maybe because the dress code i had in middle school required us to wear khakis? perhaps. anyway, i felt confident about getting this job, especially because i had this interview...

um. NO.

i walked in and there were about thirty other people in the room waiting and filling out paperwork. so i got my clipboard and started filling out my paper that would sell me into this 3 hour waste of time. we were taken back 2 at a time, asked a couple questions about our experience with people and brought back into the room to wait more.

once all the people had gone back, the woman in charge came out and showed us a demonstration of how to use the product we would be selling. she told us we would be able to make our own schedule, get paid 13 dollars an hour, etc-stuff that sounded amaaazing UNTIL

she told us we would have to

BUY the product

before we'd start selling.

and let me tell you, it was a pretty penny. not the kind of money you keep in your back pocket or wallet.

many people left after that, but i stayed unfortunately thinking i could maybe work out a deal with her.

NO. 

no deal. 

still jobless.

i left with my khakis, wishing i would have rebelled and worn jeans.

"You are not your job, you're not how much money you have in the bank, you're not the car you drive, you're not the contents of your wallet, you are not your khakis..." -Fightclub 

sometimes you just can't know how much someone means to you.

(inspired from carole king's "you've got a friend")

"she'll come runnin' "

 

sometimes she musters 

up the courage to

swallow what eats her

alive.

on other occasions, she

spits it out and 

embraces what is 

there.

it can be

easy she knows, but

she asks questions

often.

she knows if anything 

were to separate the

two beings, the glass would

shatter and the castle could

crumble.

uno, dos, tres anos have been

theirs. time may have them

traveling in different

directions, one towards the 

moon, the other to the 

sun.

at midday they meet and come

alive. they run the same route and

teach one another to 

fly forgetting about what the ticking

clock may have for

them.

"you look pretty in your dress,"

he says.

she smiles and rests her head on his

shoulder.

maybe he'll change his

mind and stay for

awhile.

happy mothers day

happy mothers day to all you moms and a special one to my wonderful mother. love you mama :)

i'm gonna make this short, but 

is it just me...? or...is everyone on the planet getting engaged/married?! every time i turn around, someone else is.

ooooohmygoodness!!

i'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited!!

i've had a good day. did the yard sale thing earlier, made some money but not as much as i would've liked. it's better than nothing though, right?

i was completely exhausted so i took a wee little nap when my mom and i got home.

i looked over my sister's friend's research paper she wrote for Grapes of Wrath (my sister and her friends get me to look at their english when i come home since i'm an english major and all, i actually like doing it hehe)

i went to the library and checked out On the Road. i've actually never read it, i know, surprising. i've wanted to read it for a year, but with school, i've no time.

after i left the library, two exciting things about my day occured.

i was downtown in morristown, and to my surprise i found that the antique store i used to go in in high school has been reopened! 

yay! :)

it had been closed for about a year.

first exciting thing, but not the most exciting :)

so of course i had to go in. i was looking around wondering if they still had the old albums that i used to search through to try and find a treasure when i looked up and saw some albums displayed:

Foreigner

Chicago

Led Zeppelin II

there were others, but i can't even remember them because i was sooooo excited about the Led Zeppelin one. ohmy goodness. 

fact about me: i love classic rock, especially Led Zeppelin, so this was a gem to find.

i didn't expect to buy anything in there, but i couldn't resist. it was just three dollars :)

i'm gonna go enjoy some "whole lotta love" now :)