He sits in the brown, worn chair sipping tea.
It’s always half empty--
the waitress can never refill it, and he
perches where the view is darkness.
She walks in the door, greeting strangers.
Spilling the juice handed her, she laughs
she leaves admirers in her shadow
if she knew that,
it would grieve her.
He glances at the woman,
a grimace in place
and she catches his eye
no one begs her to smile.
Neither knows what they are capable of.
If he could open his eyes,
turn around for a little while
maybe he could see
why the world looks better
out of darkness.
She takes careful, yet brave steps
to the door as she leaves
for a place he is a stranger to.
Her friends beckon her on.
He remains, mute and
with skin turning down
in a critical stare.
To the onlooker, he cares not to save
yet unknowingly, he tortures.
His mind is in a state of unawareness;
hers absorbs all she can take in.
He shuts his eyes, and
she peers in the window, searching.
"Tomorrow"
As soon as this time will transpire, I will race for the door.
I am tired, yet willing and waiting.
My mind is running a mile a minute, “shall I stay or
should I go?”
I’m always asking the same questions, it never changes.
Like a clock, our words have been ticking as time travels by.
I try telling myself it will be alright in the end, but
tonight I feel a rush of adrenaline,
only I had done zilch, zero strenuous labor.
This rush is coming from the repeated rhythm of words
in my head that I beckon my mouth to speak.
I beg myself not to say anything though, in fear of the blurred future.
I grab onto the door handle and make my exit, trying
to shut all the talk out. I am a mix of emotions.
Maybe
if I turn the other way, you won’t notice, and so
I take my leave of absence telling myself tomorrow
I will be brave enough to admit all of this to you.
Tomorrow has yet to arrive, and I’ve tallied up the days
since we have last talked. I don’t desire to feel as I do.
It caught me off guard, but I’m sinking into this sense
of feeling as the days pass by. I count on it now.
Tomorrow I will face you and focus on the words that have
been hiding inside of me for longer than I imagined.
