today

i came back home for the weekend yesterday, am leaving again tomorrow.  it's been good to see my family, and it's been a beautiful day :)  i've been reading My Antonia and so far i looove it.  i love these few lines at the end of chapter 2:

"I was entirely happy.  Perhaps we feel like that when we die and become a part of something entire, whether it is sun and air, or goodness and knowledge.  At any rate, that is happiness; to be dissolved into something complete and great.  When it comes to one, it comes as naturally as sleep."

buenos tardes mis amigos!

on my mind.

i'm sitting in my apartment, it's late and i have someone weighing heavy on my mind:

my daddy.

i don't mean to make this a sad post, but i fear it may be, so bear with me.  i don't wish to say a lot at the present moment about him.  i just wanted to share something i wrote a long time ago in memory of him. it's very short, yet very heartfelt.  i'm so happy for the the memories i have, and i cherish the years i knew him on earth. 

written October 2004

Faint clouds overhead   

That leave the tears to form on my face.

Glance out as the rain fades away

And grasp onto life as it is for now.

If I would've known, I'd have begged for longer,

But time slipped through our fingers.

If only we could turn back time,

But the past is gone,

Only sweet memories abide.

So many centuries gone by,

Not a one passed without

A thought of you...

bookworm.

i am a bookworm, and i'm not ashamed to say it :)

i had a lovely reunion with one of my best friends, tisha, today

we window shopped, drove to sonic at "happy hour" and both got a large cherry vanilla dr. pepper. it's so yummy.

a little while after that, i ventured on over to one of my favorite places:

the public library.

now, let me say, i have been going to the library since i can remember.

i recall walking with my kindergarden class to the library in Columbus, Mississippi, and Mother Goose read to us :)

perhaps that's where my love for books began

or maybe with my mother's encouragement for me to read. she used to read to me every night before i went to bed which is a tradition i wish to carry on to my children.

either way, i love the way words can be formed together so beautifully on a page.

i can't even explain it.

back to today:

i went to the library, and i have to admit i have slacked off on my reading a lot since school has been out, something i don't like to admit, but it happens occasionally. 

i got 4 books:

My Antonia by Willa Cather (a classic novel)

Native Guard by Natasha Tretheway (a book of poems)

Atonement by Ian McEwan (a novel...the movie was GREAT, so wanted to read the book)

Flat Belly Diet by Liz Vaccariello (i've heard people talk about this book, so i was curious about it)

if you have any suggestions for further reading that would be wonderful; i'm always looking for more good books to read :)

buenos tardes!

 

warning: long post

yesterday was a world wind of a day.

let me start out by saying that i woke up and went about my day at a leisurely pace. rosie and i had fun with my photo booth on my macbook (as you can see from the previous post), went to lay out at the pool with my mom, ran into some old friends from elementary school there, came home after the clouds decided to come in for a visit, and was settled on the couch watching some t.v. when i got a call from the career center in cookeville.

what is the career center?

it's a place that helps people find jobs, you can go there for other things too, but that was my reason for going.

i had my doubts about this place, especially because there were so many applicants, so when the voice on the other end of the line told me i had been accepted for a job, i was speechless.  she told me i had to come in for orientation tomorrow (yesterday) at 8:30 a.m. i thanked her, got off the phone and as i was running up the steps to tell my mom,

my head was spinning.

just 5 minutes earlier, i had no job, was completely relaxed on the couch, didn't know when i'd be back in cookeville and was peeling my burnt shoulders. how could this be possible?

i was excited, but let me tell you, i don't adapt to change very well, and when i realized i'd need to go back to cookeville that very day, i was running in circles (not literally) because i had no time to think about it before it was a plan.

maybe i need to shake up some things sometime so i don't freak out all the time, huh?

i do like being spontaneous, so i don't understand why this had me stressed out.

after i packed my bags, i crammed them in my car, put on my bright red sunglasses and drove out of my driveway. 

on the 2.5 hour drive, i had a lot of thoughts going on in my mind.

one of them is that old saying that goes something like "you don't know what you have until it's gone."

i think i do a pretty good job at appreciating the here and now, but i want to put it into practice even more.

take this job for example. i'm gonna be working with children at a summer day camp. it only last for 6 weeks, so after that, my job will be up. my first reaction to this was panic. i really need a stable job that doesn't have an end until i need it to end! but after i took a deep breath, i realized that if not for that call yesterday, i would still be searching, still be sitting on the couch not knowing what i had on my plate.  and who knows? i might not have had the opportunity to work even less than 6 weeks.

so i wanna be glad for that today.

 i wanna appreciate my friends and family more. nothing is forever, i had to learn that at a very young age. but there is something that can be forever:

 love.

i wanna keep that in mind and love people for who they are and appreciate them in the present. i never wanna look back and say "i didn't know what i had until it was gone"

 je taime :)

photo shoot

photo shoot on a rainy summer day, rosie and i had fun doing these

here comes the bride

i've been speechless the past few days, as you can tell from my lack of postings.

one thing i do want to say today though is

Happy 47th Anniversary Mimi and Grandy! (my grandparents)

I love you both so much :)

a late night ranting

i just want to say i freakin' loooove this band i was introduced to tonight:

Lydia

if you haven't heard of them, stop what you are doing now, look them up and soak into the beautiful music they make.  they are amazing.  mine and my sister hayley's friend millicent introduced me to them tonight.  thank you mill :)

new poem, or you could just call it

"a late night ranting"

the photographs strewn on the floor and the music in my ear

try to creep in my heart but I freeze and hold my breath until it subsides.

the lamp flickers on and off as I pick up where I left off,

I make a note to search for a new bulb, this one has burned all it’s brightness out.

Always is an adjective that frightens me because nothing is ever constant on earth,

so I’ll leave for a new destination. I make promises to myself I can’t keep, but

I'll take this one day at a time. Perhaps one more day, 

and I’ll say always to something I believe in.

radiohead...can't get enough

vintage

to add to that ebay post, i also listed a vintage dress on etsy

if you are interested, my username is again ivymorgan2009 and it is under prairie looking dress

:)

ebay

i'm selling 3 items on ebay as of now.

i'm not sure if any of you would be interested in them, but

they are

a vinyl record of Lettermen

awesome green boots size 7 1/2 and

a book about the Upper Cumberlands of Tennessee. (very interesting if you're interested in learning more about that area)

feel free to check them out...

i'm kinda new to this ebay thing,

my username is ivymorgan2009

buenos tardes mis amigos

iron&wine

been catching up on my favorite blogs...

many of them have been talking about memories

so i want to share a memory.

going to the beach with my family one summer in high school

and listening to iron & wine a good part of the time...

and sitting on the beach with a book in my hand and absorbing what the sand and ocean felt like...

and wearing a big straw hat that was in high fashion then...

and going to bed with sand under the covers...

and feeling the burn on my shoulders...

and talking to my boyfriend back then and telling him how i miss him...

and going to bed with the sheet over my eyes 'cause the t.v. was on...

and listening, learning, watching, feeling...

what i felt back then...

i saw 17 again tonight and it was so good and zac efron is smokin' hawt.  so go see it, even only to see him in it haha...but one of the things mentioned in the movie was how when you're in high school and that age when something bad happens, you think it's the end of the world. you have so much sorrow, you feel so much pain, but really it's not the end of the world.

i remember feeling this way so much.

my mom would tell me that everything would be alright and that it indeed wasn't the end of the world.

i went about my business, still in sorrow and eventually getting over whatever was bothering me.

but i think all of us have to go through trials, even after high school, and for the rest of our lives to truly feel happiness when it happens.

buenos noches my dears.

a couple oldies :)

*NOTE: some of my poems use the word "I" in them. yes, some of them come from personal experience but just as many are from an outsider's point of view. I use first person a lot because I believe it's easier to connect with, and that is how I want my readers to feel. :)

written March 4^th 2008

 

Inside this chiseled heart is 

where you rest.

I run away, but 

you’re still abiding there.

At the sound of your voice, all 

worry fades away.

It’s replaced with a hope that 

someday everything will come back.

"Obsession"

written fall 2007

 I know it sounds pitiful, but I drove by his house tonight.  I wanted to get out but feared what could’ve happened.  I drove off only to end back where I came from.  This time I did get out of the car.  It was late at night; I knew he had just walked in the door so I was hoping he’d still be up.  I slowly eased my way out of the car and took careful steps to his backdoor.  The automatic light switched on which surprised me; there was not even a whisper to be heard.  As I reached the door, I tugged on the handle.  Locked.  I didn’t think it would be locked, I thought to myself, but of course he would have locked it behind him so late at night. 

I turned around and somehow got back in my car feeling rejected by the locked door.  In my dream I had walked up to the door, pushed it open, and then found him waiting for me.  At that point we would have looked into each other’s eyes, and he would have slowly walked towards me.  Taking my cheek in his hand, he would have moved his lips toward mine. 

 I drove away berating myself while the reality of the situation took hold.

last night

"last night"

last night I was spinning backwards and I usually don’t get

dizzy

but it’s been awhile for me. stepping into that zone of

existence

was bewildering. I was staring at something strangely familiar, a

ghost.

I smiled at it, but inside I knew it was just a haunting of

what was.

I sat and talked with it, in my mind I was running in the opposite

direction.

I felt a bit sick, but smiled anyway to cover the mass of

questions I didn’t want answered. Put a quarter in that jukebox and

play

my favorite song, but it played something from days gone by and

I must

clean the dust to remember. I ran for the door, hoping my head would

clear.

I hopped in the car, ignited my engine and sped off, leaving it all

behind.

The apparition didn’t chase me, like I assumed it might so I

embraced

my thoughts once again, looked forward and awoke from that strange

dream.

red fingertips

rosie and i went to pick strawberries today, and ohmygoodness

they are soooooooo

GOOD.

so good that

i never want another store bought strawberry again.

i was on my hands and knees picking them, and my legs and fingertips became tainted with red. but that's okay, i don't mind getting a little dirty every now and then.

i think we may go back friday; 

i'm hoping to get some pictures then.

hayley and i went to the park and swung/talked, then drove around on some back roads.

it's been a good day to say the least.

i lovelovelove spending time with my sisters.

they mean the world to me as i'm sure you can probably tell because

i talk about them all the time :)

anyway

before i go, i have

new poem for y'all

buenos noches amigos

"Routine"

Talking until the sun wears you out and

Shutting the blinds to rest for the next day

Crying your eyes out because you want to understand but

Only shedding a tear on the inside because you’ve said too much

Looking at your reflection and wanting to see someone special

And hoping you’re enough

Listening to that song on repeat that reminds you of that time

You thought this was the beginning of something

Watching that movie that made you open your eyes to the obvious

And becoming thrilled at the prospect of tomorrow

Get a dress out, make up your face, answer that text

All in hopes that somehow you’re feelings won’t be in vain

Is it too much to hope? Do you dare?  It’s too late now,

Yesterday’s curiosity is washed down the drain,

Today’s prospect is now in sight.

You just can’t broach the subject of parting ways,

Even if it’s right around the corner.

seventeen.

my sister hayley is seventeen and a junior in high school.

that age and that year stand out to me like no other.

the time when you're on the brink of being an "adult" and being a senior in high school.

the time when everything is fresh and new.

the time when the days seem like they go on forever and life would always be this way.

at least that's how i remember it.

i want to post some songs about being seventeen, and the first one i know, says sixteen, but it's still one of my favorites and can still relate to the age. 

 i want to celebrate this age for Hayley, hold on to it as long as you can little sister. i love you :)

jack and diane-john melloncamp

anthems for a seventeen year old girl-broken social scene

seventeen-ladytron

edge of seventeen-stevie knicks (couldn't find a good video for this)

there are tons more i know.

can you think of any?

buenos tardes mis amigas

take me home, country roads

when i pulled off of the interstate and onto 11-E (the highway that leads me home), i felt a rush of adrenaline. 

this is always the case.

i love going home.

i stopped by cardin's drive in and got a peanut butter chocolate milkshake...my favorite :)

i tried to take a picture of it so portray the essence of this place, but my batteries were out on my camera. anyway, it's been there forever, on the side of the highway. just a little hole in the wall place. if you are ever in the knoxville, tn area, look it up and get a milkshake. you won't regret it, plus it's a lot cheaper than some of the chain restaurants. it's soooo yummy :) 

i'm sitting on my back porch now. it really suits me, and it's cozy. this is probably my favorite part of my house. 

it's neat how there are certain places that capture your heart that you'll never forget. these are just a few of mine.

i smell burgers...i think we are grilling out :) 

i've decided to postpone my poem i was talking about a couple posts ago. i apologize, but it's not nearly finished...

buenos tardes

thinking

i'm still listening to heart of gold...can't seem to get away from that song.

music has always had such a huge influence on me...

anyway, i've been in cookeville this weekend. i went up on friday to talk to the people/fill out applications of the places i called last week.  i was gonna leave today, but unfortunately, when i got to the career center to sign something, the woman i needed to see wasn't there.

i was told she'd be back monday, so i decided to stay.

other than that, it's been a nice, relaxing weekend. 

i've gotten together with some friends

and just have enjoyed being here when school is out of session for me. :)

i've been thinking a lot about things that i wish i could change or go back and do over again. i have to reprimand myself for that and tell myself that it was a lesson and the only thing i can do now is move forward. and actually, i probably wouldn't go back now. i only hope that everything from that time hasn't been tarnished too much. i don't wanna spill all the details of what i'm referring to, but i hope you can connect somehow. some things in life we learn the hard way, but in some cases, it's the best way to learn them.

buenos noches

p.s. i can't wait to get back home tomorrow. i miss my dear family :) love you all

pretty much antique

photos that range from 2002-2006 of me and some of my family. enjoy :)

like giants.

i've been working on a poem that i'm pretty excited about...

kinda hesitant to put it up just yet, wanna make sure i have it all right

but be looking out for it :)

buenos noches

miner for a heart of gold

this song has been playing in my head and in my cd player in my car for about two days straight. i love the words, they are simple, yet so profound. the guitar and harmonica add to the greatness of the song.  love it. i love string instruments, they're my favorite. if i could, i'd probably like to play the violin. when a harmonica is added, it just makes for an awesome sound, so i think. plus, i can connect with the lyrics and i know many of you can also. not saying i'm old at all, but i've definitely been "searchin' for a heart of gold; i've been a miner for a heart of gold."

I wanna live
I wanna give
I've been a miner for a heart of gold

It's these expressions I never give
That keep me searchin' for a heart of gold
And I'm gettin' old

Keeps me searchin' for a heart of gold
And I'm gettin' old.

I've been to Hollywood
I've been to Redwood
I crossed the ocean for a heart of gold
I've been in my mind
It's such a fine line
That keeps me searchin' for a heart of gold
And I'm gettin' old

Keeps me searchin' for a heart of gold
And I'm gettin' old

Keep me searchin' for a heart of gold
Ya keep me searchin' and I'm growin' old
Keep me searchin' for a heart of gold
I've been a miner for a heart of gold

big grin.

first of all, i wanna say i was sooo happy, no giddy actually when i checked my blog this morning and saw that nicole mentioned me in her latest blog!!i was so surprised, it made me feel so good. BIG SHOUT out to her: THANK YOU :)

she asked me to write 

7 "awwe-summm" things about myself so here goes :)

1. I had a poem published in an anthology when I was in 4th grade

2. my hair is craazy most of the of the time, it's so curly

3. speaking of my hair, my freshman year in college i dyed the underneath of it black. yeah, i thought it was super awesome back then ha

4. from kindergarden until senior year of high school, i have been the shortest person in my grade. i'm 5'1". there are some shorties like me at TTU though :)

5. i used to live in caledonia, mississippi. it has one red light and last i looked, the population is under 1,000

6. i am the oldest of my cousins, but not surprisingly, the shortest :)

7. i would love to time travel from a little before the civil war and on

she asked me to select 7 lovely ladies to send the lemon award, you're the best award and queen of all things award. this is going to be sooo hard because i love all the blogs i've looked at, but i think i've got it down to 7 :)

Carrie Chaney

Jasmine

Edie

Adele

Nicole

JLC

tunnelmia

thank you so much again nicole for being so sweet 

pollyanna.

Pollyanna was one of my favorite movies as a young girl.

i would watch it, and then reenact what my eyes had just been filled with from the screen.

i didn't realize it then, but thinking back on it, Pollyanna was inspiring to me.

still is today.

she found the positive in every situation.

i wanna be like that more.

memories of the past 3 years compiled into photos

in no particular order from 2006- spring 2009















































so i decided to go through some archives of 2006-present day photos of me and friends/family from my college years so far, hope you enjoy :)